2 minutes ago
It is a very strange feeling not having a firm sense of self so late in life. Forget about careers, I’m only just exploring and cultivating life experience. .
Recall that I have been on my own for four years. Prior to that I was kept on a tight leash and often criticized for wanting to try new things. Notably, how asking to visit friends would result in a screaming match - the victor out tiring the other and claiming their prize. Eventually I got tired of saying things that would trigger fights, so my bedroom became my world. Shortly after, I lost all motivation to do anything for myself. Not even think. I was a goldfish. .
Now at 26, the feeling of making up for lost time can be overwhelming. When you live a life walking on eggshells, you develop habits or survival mechanisms to help you cope with the environment. Those strategies don't serve me anymore; though changing something I've been practicing most of my life is going to take time. I must be gentle with myself and celebrate achievements and self discoveries along the way. .
Thanks for reading! .
P.S. remember to say yes to more opportunities (non threatening to your values, of course) and see where it takes you. I have been pleasantly surprised as I slowly open up to let life happen.
#selfcare #love #gentle #mentalhealth #awareness #selflove #recovery #healing #life #personal #movingforward